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Am I Codependent? Understanding Codependency

codependency-thewatershedIf you want to figure out if you are codependent, it helps to fully understand what codependency is.

Codependency Definition: Being codependent means that you have an extreme psychological or emotional reliance on a person. These relationships are dysfunctional by nature, but can appear to the person/persons involved that their enabling is actually supportive.

Codependency Signs & Symptoms


Having no boundaries is just one sign. Basing your emotional or mental well being on another person is not healthy. Each person should have their own space, hobbies, identity, and friends. When there are no boundaries in place it can be easy for you to base your self-worth on what others think or say about you.


Codependents tend to try to control their surroundings and their relationships. It’s also not uncommon to let others control you, depending on the relationship. This is one way a codependent copes with feeling out of control. It’s an attempt to fix others and the situation.


Not taking ownership and accountability for your feelings and actions is a classic sign of dependence on others. Blaming others enables you to continue living as a victim and not change any bad habits that could be preventing you from having a healthy and happy relationship with others.


The victim role is pretty common and can come out in different ways. Some people are very vocal about being the victim, while others quietly manipulate the situation. Playing this role will never allow you to grow past pain and suffering.


Abuse can come in many forms. Some show signs of drug or alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, or physical abuse. If there is any abuse in any relationship, it is important to not ignore the situation and seek outside help.

Codependency is not uncommon. It can manifest in different ways depending on a person’s experience and mental health, but if you feel like these traits are controlling your life, then the time to change is now. Just because you have codependent tendencies doesn’t mean you can’t change.

Want to learn more? Check out these books from Melody Beattie for more information about codependency and what you can do to become a happier and healthier you.

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