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Am I In A Codependent Relationship?

codependent relationship the watershed texasBelieve it or not, trying to figure out if you are in a codependent relationship is not as easy as you might think. There are a lot of moving pieces that come in to play when dealing with codependency, so knowing some of the warning signs could help you figure out if you’re in a healthy relationship – or not – along with tips on what to do if you are.

Codependent Relationship Signs

No Boundaries

Basing all of your activities around your partner while also basing your happiness on how they are feeling is not healthy. Each of you should have your own identity, hobbies, space, and friends while also sharing your life together. If you find yourself enmeshed, you may be dealing with codependency.


Blaming your misery on someone else is another classic sign of being codependent. When you can’t seem to take ownership of a situation, or think that if the other person would just do what you want them to do, then you would be fine – your relationship is not healthy or realistic. The truth is that your happiness and your partner’s happiness is a choice and should not be blamed on each other if it is not achieved.


Trying to control the relationship or partner will never work and ends up just causing anger, resentment, and fear. A healthy relationship does not need to be controlled and should happen organically and lovingly.

Feeling Trapped

If you or your partner feel trapped by the relationship there may be too much smothering going on. Once again, it’s important to have your own identities and space.

Being The Victim

Many times those in codependent relationships can have the tendency to play the victim role. Each person can even trade off on that role. The victim role is also found in relationships that are abusive verbally and/or physically. One partner may feel trapped and would rather stay in the victim role, than take the chance of leaving because of their unresolved codependency issues.

Drug/Alcohol Abuse

Drugs and alcohol can sometimes play a large role in codependent relationships.  Either one or both partners could be addicted. In this case, attending a drug and alcohol rehab center is the most effective way to combat this issue. You may even find out that recovery is really all your relationship needed in order to be healthy.

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Desperate Need

No person should have a desperate need for someone to be in their life. We can want people in our lives and sometimes need help, but there shouldn’t be a desperate feeling that you couldn’t survive without this person and that you need them in order to live. This can be dangerous for both parties involved and can actually destroy a person’s self-worth and relationship.

How Can I Fix My Codependent Relationship?

Essentially you can either leave the relationship if it’s too unhealthy, (physically and/or verbally abusive) or you can get help. Some people favor CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) meetings, while others favor therapy sessions, but you can certainly do both. Just remember that being codependent doesn’t mean you are a bad person or that your partner is a bad person, it just means there is work that needs to be done in order for you and your partner to be the healthiest version of yourselves.

Find a codependents anonymous meeting now!

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